I’ve been thinking and talking about starting a blog for so many years. Every time I say, “This is the year,” I am so relieved I didn’t start it when I was 18, or 19, or 20, or 21, (oh gawd we’re still going?) or 22 because whatever I wrote would have been silly, irrelevant, immature, underdeveloped and wrong. Fortunately for all of you, I am now a fully ripened artist, a masterful wordsmith, and I know everything.
That is not true. It’s not that I have anything better to say today than I did five years ago. I’m just not as worried about saying it anymore.
I think it’s great that so many people have the opportunity and the platforms to throw their voices into the pool to promote their ideas and passions – otherwise I’d be a democracy hating hater. I do, however, often find myself exhausted and overstimulated by the noise. And I know I’m not alone. Between social media, blogs and questionable news sources, we are now tasked with confirming what is real, what sources are legitimate, which inspirational articles will actually speak to us and which ones will just make us feel shittier than we did before. To click or not to click? Media and citizen journalism etc. is a topic that I don’t feel qualified to even touch on. I’m just talking about what you see when you open your Facebook or web browser in the morning – what’s trending via the hashtag of the moment, who said something politically incorrect and what everything thinks about it, a listicle of all the reasons why you suck, a listicle of all the reasons why you’re great, watch this video that will change the way you see the world until you forget about it a minute later. I often wonder if the onslaught is necessary or even healthy.
“Don’t go on the internet! Go outside and talk to humans!” I know. But there are so many areas of study and jobs that rely on technology and information sharing. I agree with the arguments that say we need this just as much as the ones that say we don’t.
You may find this hypocritical, because by typing this I am essentially asking you to listen, but I am not trying to contribute to the noise. I like writing personal essays and sharing what I learn about the world, and think I am very aware of my place in it. As Lena would say, “I think I might be the voice of my generation, or at least a voice. Of a generation.” As someone who only recently began saying things out loud on a regular basis, I’m perfectly content to be the latter.
I’m starting this blog to keep all my personal pieces in one place, see if something cohesive develops, and practice. I’ve received a broad range of feedback on all sorts of things I’ve written ranging from, “What is this?” to “I keep a copy of this on my nightstand.” I have cried while being critiqued at a college newspaper meeting and been applauded a week later in the same place. I understand criticism. In person, anyway. Now, I am a human, and humans are both inherently biased and wrong sometimes. It took me a long time to be comfortable doing this because the internet is so terrifying and loud. I do my best to articulate carefully, but I would hate to be doomed forever by one iffy or underdeveloped thought.
We have been conditioned to hear and read but not listen or consider. We attack and argue but often fail to convey. The cool thing about words is you never know which ones, in what order, are going to move you. They don’t have to be sensational or loud or controversial. They only have to be just right in a moment.
These are my words, maybe you’ll like them.
Namaste
kiera murray 